Friday, June 28, 2013

Never date/ befriend a photographer


o  On a date, don’t wait for a sunny day to go on a picnic, instead wait until it’s overcast and gloomy.
o  They rather hold their bulky camera, than hold hands with you.
o  They overload their camera bag “just in case” on a vacation, and then want you to carry it for them.
o  You can never go on a date with them until after the sun has set, because that’s “the GOLDEN hour”
o  You’ll never be able to enjoy TV, movies, or magazines because they’ll point out all the visual flaws.
o  When you think they’re giving you their undivided attention, they’re really wondering how they could fix you with a little Clone Tool and Patch Tool, and if the catchlights in your eyes would highlight well.
o  They rather drop $1,000+ on new glass than like most girls get a new purse, unless it can carry a dslr.
o  They can’t take a photo with them without taking at least five more.
o  They spend all their time on the computer (and not for porn.)
o  They spend a lot of time with people cooler than you
o  They won’t return your calls or text messages, but you can bet they’re still posting photos on Facebook.
o  They like looking at weird things in general.
o  They will go somewhere and have serious lens envy.
o  Everything is watermarked.
o  They like trespassing into old abandoned buildings filled with health hazards.
o  They always want to show a new photo they took, but don’t really care if you like it or not.
o  They’ll take you into places that have “culture" as well a high chance of getting mugged.
o  Your birthday present will be a portrait that they’ve taken of you.
o  They will always bug you to be a test subject.
o  Bringing their camera means, bringing 50lbs of equipment.
o  You can’t get them a birthday/Christmas present without spending at least $500
o  They are natural hoarders, collecting and keeping piles of old newspapers, packaging, magazines, and “vintage” items.
o  You go shopping and they pick up odd things to “put a baby” in!
o  They are weird and geeky.
o  They have hard drives of photos, but probably have printed 10 images.
o  If you’re ever in auto mode, they laugh at you.
o  While they are talking to you, they are thinking, “how could I pose him?”

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